I was moved a few days ago to begin this blog process but seriously questioned my own motivations for doing so. I don’t think my writing is something everyone should read; to the contrary, English and literature were my worst subjects in school.
I wish, however, to engage in a dialogue of the sort that I see in other religion blogs – a place to develop my views in a solid form and see views of others on the matters discussed. I also realize this does not come overnight and may take a long time to form.
After contemplating my motivations, several things came forth in bible study to make me feel this is the place I am supposed to be, for now, and I wanted to share two of these.
First, I have been doing a personal study of Acts using the book Meditative Commentary – Acts of the Apostles: Jesus Alive in His Church – a book which does not really “comment” on the meaning of scripture as much as it asks detailed questions to cause deep self-examination of the scripture passages. The questions for a given section of a chapter or less is usually around 15, followed by a brief 2 page reflection by the author. So, most of what I draw from this study is purely my own interpretation not necessarily flavored by anyone else’s.
Earlier this week I read a question from this book regarding Acts 11:1-5:
“Can you think of a time when you felt led by the Lord to do something that produced criticism? What can we learn from Peter on how to confront such a situation?”
And in reply I realized I had actually insulated myself, as much as possible since my conversion, from critique by Christians.
I know I am under constant critique, whether vocalized or not, from those in my life who are not Christian, and that is something I saw before my conversion and anticipated.
I believe my fear of rejection led me to withdraw from situations where I might receive criticism, and this is restricting my ability to grow. Something in this question nearly compelled me to start writing in a public forum.
Then, yesterday, because my church hosted an event, I attended Beth Moore’s Living Proof Live Simulcast. I had never read any of her books or listened to her although I had heard of her.
Some big points I pulled out of the first speech section of the day, the first bullet being a direct quote from Beth Moore:
- “An individual calling can only be fulfilled in a ‘we’ context.”
- The book of Acts – always a group context, never alone
- “They” becomes “We” – Luke never shows his entrance into the book with an “I” statement.
And, it hit me, that this was part of my struggle. I was worried blogging would be an “I” thing, as if I were trying to be more than I am. But it is what allows me to turn my “I” thoughts into the possibility of “we” – thoughts framed for a larger audience, possibly to have a larger audience, and hopefully to have engaging readers and commenters over time. I have plenty to share and I hope you will join me, whoever you are, reading this, and engage with me along the way.
Have you felt led by the Lord to do something that produced criticism?